So, I had an experience at the dentist on Saturday.

Let me just preface this story by admitting up front that I'm a scaredy cat. I know this. I'm scared of the typical stuff like bugs and mice, of the dark and of scary night time noises. I cover my eyes and mute the volume if even just the preview for a scary movie pops up on TV, and my legs tingle with fear whenever I step foot on a balcony or drive across an overpass. We all have our little fears, right?

I do, however, have a not so little phobia of needles. This fear is pretty legit since I usually get stabbed no less than three times for simple blood tests because they can never find my veins. The nurses like to joke, "Do you have any veins in there?" Every single time. While they dig the needle around in my arm. Hardy har har. When I went into labor I was retaining water like a mo fo and then they really couldn't find my veins, so they had to poke me up and down my arms, hands, and even my feet! Finally they had to use one of the main veins in my wrist, which is an uncommon and painful procedure, so they had to stick me with one needle to numb the pain of the second needle!

Still, it's not unusual to be scared of needles. But combine my fear of needles with my claustrophobia? That's when I get street rat crazy, for real.

I'm crazy claustrophobic. Crazy like I think I'm going to suffocate even if I just have a stuffy nose. Crazy like, while flying back from my honeymoon in Hawaii, all I kept thinking was, "I can't breathe. I can't breathe! There's not enough air in here for all of us! Every one's breathing up all the air!" and "Are the flight attendants trained to handle someone who is about to freak the eff out? Cuz I don't think they're ready for me."

Fear of needles plus fear of suffocation equals irrational fear of the dentist. I normally avoid the dentist at all costs unless I'm literally crippled with pain, and even then I've been known to take Valium before my appointments so I can calm the eff down. That kind of irrational. One time I had a deep cleaning done and on my way out the receptionist asked me, "So, how'd it go?" To her surprise, tears started rolling down my cheeks. A bit dramatic, no? Welcome to Steve's world.

So, I had to get some fillings done on Saturday. I was cool in the days leading up to my appointment, and on the drive over that morning, and even as they sat me in the chair. But as soon as they started applying the topical cream to numb my mouth, my brain started shouting, "Needle coming! Needle coming! Mayday!" Admittedly, the actual pain of the needle is practically nothing. But the thought of the needle is what gets me every time. So, as the dentist started poking around, I tried to distract myself. Tried to think of something else, anything else. But all I could think was, "Needle. Long, sharp needle. Long, sharp needle piercing my gums." And then water from the air/water thingy kept pooling up a little in my throat, making me feel like I was drowning. Suffocating! Nevermind that I could still breathe perfectly well through my nose. And that's when my arms started tingling, a sure sign that things were about to get ugly. But just as it was getting down to T-minus two seconds to street rat crazy, it was all over.

On my way home, Steve texted me, "How'd it go?" Then a split second later, "Don't cry."